Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Guyaholic by Carolyn Mackler Review

"Sometimes it takes getting hit with a hockey puck to help you see what's good for you! Carolyn Mackler is back - and V is off on a solo road trip - in this funny, poignant follow-up to VEGAN VIRGIN VALENTINE. 
V Valentine is the queen of meaningless hookups. Ever since her mom dumped her with her grandparents, she has bounced from guy to guy. But in the spring of senior year, a fateful hockey puck lands her in the lap of Sam Almond. Right from the start, things with Sam are different. V is terrified to admit it, but this might be meaningful after all. On the afternoon of graduation, V receives some shocking news. Later, at a party, she makes an irreversible mistake and risks losing Sam forever. When her mom invites her to Texas, V embarks on a cross-country road trip with the hopes of putting two thousand miles between herself, Sam, and the wreckage of that night. With her trademark blend of humor and compassion, Carolyn Mackler takes readers on an unforgettable ride of missed exits, misadventures, and the kind of epiphanies that come only when you're on a route you've never taken before."

I'll admit it's been awhile since I wrote anything on my blog. In fact, the thing I wrote was a review for an Amy Plum book. Anyway, now I'm moving on to Guyaholic which is only about a hundred and twenty pages. It's a rather short book that anyone can read during bathroom break. On second thought, don't read it during a bathroom break. That's disgusting. Along with disturbing. I definitely won't touch any of your books. 

Okay, the main character, V, is caught monologuing. Well, most of the time, she's complaining about her girl problems and whatever. I learned nothing about this book other than the fact about monologuing. The only fact I learned about monologuing: Never get caught doing it for a chapter or more. It gets too boring. Basically, the only way the character development gets moved forward is by monologuing. Anytime there's dialogue is like a sheep among wolves. (I'm referring wolves as monologues). 

This is going to be a fairly short review. I'm too tired to think about anything, especially after watching Agent Ward (Agents of Shield) kill Agent Hand and the two guards in cold blood. I can't believe he's HYDRA agent. Anyway, I have to sleep on it. Ahhh! Everything is so messed up in my review. I feel like I'm dizzy or something. It's midnight and I need to sleep. I have class tomorrow. Yawn, yawn.

The only big topic this book teaches is that sleeping with a lot of guys is never a good idea. I mean, one man and one woman is already complicated enough. Suddenly, this author decides, hey! Why not add a bunch more of guys to this book? That's when it gets really complicated.

The only thing I will probably remember is how inappropriate this book is. And monologues. Especially monologues. I thought Shakespeare was already enough. Of course, it isn't. And how big of a hooker (well, she might as well be) V is.

Short book. Boring plot that's not worth mentioning at all. Everything is boring. No car trip with boy. Just car trip with monologues. Thank you, goodbye. Night, night.

Rating: One out of Five

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