Saturday, September 7, 2013

Splintered by A.G. Howard Review

"This stunning debut captures the grotesque madness of a mystical under-land, as well as a girl’s pangs of first love and independence. Alyssa Gardner hears the whispers of bugs and flowers—precisely the affliction that landed her mother in a mental hospital years before. This family curse stretches back to her ancestor Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alyssa might be crazy, but she manages to keep it together. For now.
When her mother’s mental health takes a turn for the worse, Alyssa learns that what she thought was fiction is based in terrifying reality. The real Wonderland is a place far darker and more twisted than Lewis Carroll ever let on. There, Alyssa must pass a series of tests, including draining an ocean of Alice’s tears, waking the slumbering tea party, and subduing a vicious bandersnatch, to fix Alice’s mistakes and save her family. She must also decide whom to trust: Jeb, her gorgeous best friend and secret crush, or the sexy but suspicious Morpheus, her guide through Wonderland, who may have dark motives of his own."

Ah... This is one of those books people call 'amazing' but I just don't get what they are saying. I don't get it. It think that this is perhaps the weirdest, strangest, and maddest book I've ever seen. (Actually no. I've seen some books that are much worst than this.) Splintered is a strange book that I don't understand. (If I don't understand, that means there are other people out there who don't understand either. Like one ant, there's always another.)

Splintered is recommended to twelve and up. There's some inappropriate stuff, but parents shouldn't be too concern about it. Wow, that has to be the craziest sentence that I have ever typed that doesn't make sense. (How about logic?) Anyway Splintered is an okay book. An okay book. Empathized on the "okay" part, okay?

Splintered's plot is rather boring. It reminds me of Alice In Wonderland without the innocent girl inputs. (For most part. Some parts the characters are so naive which annoyed me like crazy. The Red Queen screams "Off with your head!" and these characters aren't afraid of Wonderland? That's messed up to a crazy degree.) The writing of Splintered is exciting and entertaining. It is the one of the only factors pushing me into the book. 

The beginning of Splintered is another interesting part of the book. It's interesting for the most part. But when there's positive, there's negative. There's a little of girl stuff like that thing that happens whenever it is that girl's time of the month. (Guys, I hope you're not blushing when you read this part.) Then again, I find that part the most useless piece of information in this book. I don't care about Alyssa having her period! I care more about the damn book! Damn it, authors. Useless information that doesn't change the story in whatever way isn't suppose to be plug into the book. Get to the program.


Alyssa, I don't know what to say to you. When a guy like Morpheus comes along (and he's a bad boy too), you run the opposite direction! Even a girl like Alice knows to do that. (Actually, that's a bad example. She didn't ran from those people who I suspected were drinking tea with rum and moonshine.) Anyway, I don't like her innocent girl act. Morpheus has been teaching you all about Wonderland and you conveniently play innocent girl (Alice). Damn it, Alyssa. Stop being an idiot. I don't care about your boy-boy situation; you have a game to play, a game that can get you killed and you worry about boys! 

Jeb is smarter and naive like Alyssa. I'm not even going to start on him.

Rating: Two out of Five

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